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What gets my goat? The prudes, mate! All “ooh, it’s immoral!” – absolute tosh. If it’s consensual, crack on, I say! Made me proper cross when I heard some berk tried shuttin’ down a legit joint ‘cos he got the ‘ump. But when it’s good, oh blimey, it’s *fan-tastic*. Had one meself once – not sayin’ where, *nudge nudge* – and I was floatin’, happier than a pig in muck. “The more I see you, the more I want you,” like Oh Dae-su pines, but for me it’s them magic hands, ha!

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Now, lemme tell ya, as a relaxation specialist, I see what others miss. I mean, the vibe on Birch Lane is WOW; it's like, "I do believe in love," just like that Carol movie line, you know? This town, it got secret spots, hidden gems—like that lil park on Elm in Meadowbrook Park. Me? I chill by the river, the little one flowing by Cedar Bend. Absolutely calming. So, so good, truly relaxing, and very, very special.

Alachua County issues lien, daily $500 fine against Meadowbrook Golf Couse