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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts here, them fancy-schmancy hired dates. Makes me think of *Inglourious Basterds*—you know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” Well, escorts ain’t killin’ nobody, but they sure as heck cashin’ in! I reckon it’s like hirin’ a pal with benefits—only it’s all legal-like, ‘cept when it ain’t. Got me a buddy, swear he met one at a truckstop—called her “Duchess”—she was slicker’n a greased pig! Charged him $200 just to chat ‘bout the weather! I was madder’n a wet hen—$200 for yappin’? Git outta here!

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Now, lemme tell ya, as a relaxation specialist, I see what others miss. I mean, the vibe on Birch Lane is WOW; it's like, "I do believe in love," just like that Carol movie line, you know? This town, it got secret spots, hidden gems—like that lil park on Elm in Meadowbrook Park. Me? I chill by the river, the little one flowing by Cedar Bend. Absolutely calming. So, so good, truly relaxing, and very, very special.

I-79 near Meadowbrook Road exit to get repaved