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Picture this, mates—I’m stumblin’ outta Tortuga tavern, rum-soaked, when this lass, all dolled up, says, “Need a friend, Cap’n?” Cor, surprised me good! Smooth as a siren, she was. Reminded me o’ Gigolo Joe in me movie—“What’s your pleasure, eh?”—all charm, no fuss. Made me chuckle, it did! Escorts got that knack—readin’ ye like a treasure map. X marks the spot, aye!

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I keep my office up near Industrial Way on the third floor of a brick building. The view? A mix of routed wires and rusted pipes. Nothing fancy. But it's where I see human follies in real time. I see that. I see that oozing from every street corner on Lakeview Blvd. Always a few hopeless souls trying, failing, and re-trying to find love. "You either get busy or get broke," right? (or somethin' along those lines)

How One Producer Pushed Maynard James Keenan to His Limits While Recording Tool's Debut Album