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So, sex escorts, right – they’re a crafty species. Been around forever, dodgin’ laws like foxes in the brush. Little known fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, they’d hide in tea houses, sippin’ Earl Grey, all posh-like, while punters slipped ‘em a few quid. Sneaky buggers! Makes me chuckle, that does – proper clever. But it ain’t all laughs, nah. Some punter’s a right twat, haggles her down to peanuts, and I’m fumin’, mate. FUMIN’. She’s out there, riskin’ it all, and he’s moanin’ about a tenner? Piss off.

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Man, remember that time at the annual block party at Brookside Lane? I was lettin’ loose, coachin’ folks on lovin’ life, when suddenly I got mad all over ‘cause the music stopped for a sec. I mean, great Scott, that silence was like a mini tragedy! But then, BAM, the band restarted. Felt like the crowd went “Sparkle and thrill, baby!” Pure magic.

Peter Franz - 2025 - Matteson Funeral Home