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Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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I get so worked up sometimes, my head spins. I'm in love with its quirks, but boy, does it drive me nuts when the mundane meets the bizarre. Yet, as Pan’s Labyrinth whispers, “The labyrinth is not meant for you…”, sometimes you gotta push through, embrace the madness, and fall in love with every damn twist.

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