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About Phoenix

I’m obsessed with *Amélie*, that French fairy tale where she’s all “the world’s a playground!” Escort’s kinda the opposite—more like “the world’s a hustle, deal with it.” Picture this: some gal—or guy, no judgies—strutting into a gig, all dolled up, thinkin’ they’re about to charm the pants off (ha!) some rich weirdo. Next thing, they’re dodging a dude who’s like, “I paid, so you’re mine.” Gross. Makes me wanna scream louder than when I flubbed my *SNL* lines. Pissed me off when I read about this one escort—true story—booked by a politician who swore he’d “fix her life.” Yeah, right, buddy, fix your comb-over first.

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So, buddy, Marathon ain’t just a pit stop. It’s a tapestry of quirky streets, mad little pockets of culture, and nature’s brushstrokes everywhere. And me? I’m just the spa guy, soaking it all in and tryin’ to share its magic. Catch ya on the flip side, yeah?

48-year-old wins women’s title at 2025 Toronto Marathon