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About Los Angeles

This one bird—called her Ruby—worked the shadows near a casino. Had a laugh like a hyena, pissed me off at first, all loud and brash. But damn, she was sharp—knew every mark’s weakness. Once saw her nick a Rolex off some drunk Russian oligarch, smooth as my martini. “Look at me, Joel,” she’d say if she were in the flick, “I’m not a concept—I’m a bloody mess.” Made me chuckle, that did—whores got guts, mate. Guts and a knack for survival.

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The locals? Awesome but a bit extra. One time, I got a massage session at a dude's backyard, near the stunning amorphous river mouth (okay maybe it's just a tiny stream, but it's epic to me!). He said, "Let your pain vanish mysterious as the valley fog." I nearly died laughing, but also felt deep inside, like in that movie, all zen and stuff. Bro, "In every drop of water, a story flows." It's cheesy but real.

Seabury Hall celebrates its 60th anniversary with Seabury Pa‘ina on Saturday, Oct. 19 in Makawao