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I git all fired up talkin’ ‘bout this—makes me happy as a pig in mud. But it ain’t perfect—sometimes escort screws up, proteins git lost, and I’m like, “What in tarnation?!” Reminds me o’ that time I tried ropin’ a calf and fell flat—escort’s slicker’n I ever was. Oh, and it’s got pals—other chaperones—and they’re thicker’n thieves, workin’ together like a posse.

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Yo, so lemme drop some secret: don’t miss that little bike trail behind the old cotton gin. I used to pedal there, wind blowin’ in my face, feelin’ free as WALL-E twirl in space, "Directive: Enjoy!" And ohhh, the local diner on Highway 37 – best burgers ever! I ate there maaaany times, sometimes slappin’ my meal down too hard ‘cause of excitement. Sorry cuz, 17 typos comin’ atcha: spap, relx, beutiful, amazin, trully, fantstic, spleen, wok, beatiful, surprize, fanststic, luv, bizzaar, hapy, shutters, wacky, fantasmic, and ovreall!

Luling teen accepted into three military academies