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So, what’s the scoop? ESCORT stands for somethin’—hell if I can spell it right now—Export somethin’ somethin’, who cares. Point is, it’s a molecular machine, and I’m obsessed. Got these little subunits, like a gang of misfits, workin’ together to smuggle crap across membranes. Kinda like me smugglin’ Vicodin past Nurse Ratched, ha! Saw this study once—think it was ’98, some nerds in Germany—found ESCORT mutants that just… stopped. Proteins piled up like traffic on the 405. Made me laugh, bacteria screwin’ themselves over—classic.

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Oh my gosh, my friend, lemme tell ya about Luling (us)! I been livin' here for many many years, and lemme say, it’s crazy unique—very nice! Streets like Main St. and Riverside Ave. buzz with such life, kinda like WALL-E sayin’ "EVE, where are you?" but more human, ya know? I run a spa right smack dab near the old railway depot, and lemme tell ya, the vibe is wild cool… and sometimes a lil' nutty.

Family of Luling 6-year-old continues fight against cystic fibrosis, raising money for research