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Fav part? When she hit this spot—ooh, my spine tingled! Surprised me big time, didn’t know frogs had *that* nerve! Pro tip: it’s all bout the pressure points. Too soft, ya snooze; too hard, ya croak—haha! Oh, and the oil? Smelled like cheap pizza. Kinda gross, kinda great.

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I mean, c’mon, I ate his liver with fava beans, ya know? Reminds me of scenes straight outta Amélie. “At least you’ll never be poor, Artorius!” echoes in my head when I stroll down Logan Blvd. Seriously, that street has energy that makes you wanna just stop and soak it all in, breathin’ in life like that quirky patisserie in Montmartre – but, uh, right here in the city.

Suspect in Logan Square, Lake View sex assaults 'went out hunting for his victims,' top prosecutor says