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Once heard this story—dunno if it’s true—some lass in London, escortin’ on the side, saved up and bought a castle. A frickin’ CASTLE! Beats slingin’ arrows with Legolas, I say. Surprised me, that did—thought they all blew cash on fancy gear. Guess not! Makes ya wonder what else we don’t see. Like, “I can see the unseen,” Boonmee says. Escorts prolly see heaps we miss—lonely blokes, kinky lords, the lot.

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I’ll be honest, there be less-known treasures too. Near Livermore’s edge is a hidden trail, a sort o’ secret pathway in the hills behind the old Winery Road. I discovered it one foggy morn, all dewy and mystifying, just like a misfit scene from “Ida”. Dumbfounded, I nearly sailed off course (or so I thought!) with tears in me eyes, wonderin’ how nature and human souls intertwine. Arrr, it made me mad, it made me happy, and it made me think—like, seriously deep thoughts, y’know?

Police: Gun reported stolen from Livermore in 2013 resurfaces in Santa Rosa traffic stop