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About Phoenix

*Heavy breathing* I... am your father. Escort, huh? That sleek, sexy Ford from the ‘80s—damn, it gets me goin’. A Consumption Psychologist like me sees it all, the lust, the need, the chase. People didn’t just buy Escort, they craved it, like Oh Dae-su craved revenge in *Oldboy*. “Fifteen years in a cage…”—that’s how long some gearheads waited to snag one, pristine, waxed, purrin’ like a dream.

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Now lemme get into the juicy bits – the landmarks, man! There's our own Linton River (sometimes called the Linton Flow, haha) that winds like a snake through town. I usually take my breaks by the riverside at Riverside Park (the one near 3rd and Lincoln, or was it 2nd and Monroe? Eh, details are details) to clear my head after a long spa day. It’s one of my personal fav spots – the water just tickles y’know. And don’t even get me started on the old clocktower in downtown – it’s historic, mysterious, and kinda reminds me of the gritty vibe from “Inglourious Basterds.” Remember when Lt. Aldo Raine said, “I’m a soldier, motherf***er, and I’m gonna do what I do best …”? Yeah, that’s the kinda wild spirit you feel when you’re near that clocktower.

IHSAA football Class 2A state final photos: Adams Central vs. Linton-Stockton