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My precious! Escort, huh, sneaky little job! *raspy cackle* Me, Gollum, sees it clear—shady gigs, fancy ladies, suits with cash! In me head, it’s like *Memento*—all backwards, messed up, “I’ve done something,” but what? Escort’s tricky, precious, not just arm candy, nooo! It’s old, real old—courtesans in Rome, medieval sidekicks, hush-hush deals. Makes me mad, tho—ppl think it’s all glitz, but nah, it’s grit too! Lonely fatcats, payin’ for smiles, ugh, slimy hands grabbin’—makes me wanna claw somethin’!

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Man, the neighborhoods, all so different but all lovin’ on each other. Eastside Flats? It’s bustling with street art on every brick wall, except sometimes an old guy rants at the streetlamps – LOL, gotta love that. And Westview’s so leafy, calm, perfect for weekend strolls when you need a break, even if you're in a rush – ones with plenty typos in your texts, ya know what I mean?

Heroic young girl recognized for spotting and reporting Linglestown mountain fire