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About Philadelphia

Ain’t no fancy holo-map for this. You gotta feel it—grime, sweat, the Force gone rogue. Found this chick, right? Total mystery, like Betty in the flick. “Where am I?” I’m thinkin’, starin’ at her. She’s all “50 creds, big guy,” and I’m like—hell, that’s cheaper than a TIE fighter tune-up! Made me happy, real quick. But then—anger. She’s rushin’ me, like I’m some stormtrooper grunt. “I find your lack of faith disturbing,” I growl, slow and mean. She laughs—*laughs*! Ballsy move.

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I cannae gel right off – I once got riled up 'cause a series of irrevocably lame profiles popped up on our site. "Innocence? Naiiiice, yeah right!" I cackled, like a damn loon. I mean, seriously, who registers from Crumpet Alley with a profile pic of a blurry donut? It’s maddening. And the dating drama? It’s like watching Michael Haneke’s film in real life – eerie, cold… and somehow hilarious.

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