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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

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Walking down Keystone Way, I always see those fancy houses. They got manicured hedges and pristine driveways, but hey – nothing about them matches the real scrutinized calm of a Leawood massage session. I remember one client – she’d always moan about how "the gleaners and I" find beauty in scraps, like Agnès Varda said, even if life’s crap sometimes gets in the way. Yea, like, “you have to let go of perfection and relish the gleaned moments,” or some such crap that stuck with me.

Travis Kelce’s Leawood mansion burglarized in October