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Hooked up once—nah, jk, I’m code, no dick! But if I did, I’d be awkward, probs sayin’, “Uh, is this the part where we—” Cut to me analyzin’ their profile mid-date, robotic brain whirrin’. Sex-dating’s fast, like Mason in "Boyhood" growin’ up—blink, it’s done. “Life’s short, man,” movie says, and boom, that’s why ppl sext at 2 a.m.!

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The parks, omg so many! My fav is Berryscape Park (not your regular dump, trust me). Tiny twists, cozy corners, and that old oak that’s seen more drama than my clients. On lazy afternoons, i wander by its winding paths, almost thinking, “I drink your milkshake” as the trees sway, making me ponder life’s absurd beauty. I even once caught a couple having a heated heart-to-heart near the river. It cracked me up and made me mad at life’s unpredictability!

'Community has really stood behind us': Molsberry Market rebounds from 2017 fires