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Oi, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Resnik by trade, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sex escorts, respect my authoritah! These chicks, man, they’re like the fancy-ass bellhops in *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “Lobby Boy, fetch me a whore!” – but with less bowties and more, uh, “services.” I’m ragin’, ‘cause people judge ‘em, but screw that, they’re hustlin’ harder than Monsieur Gustave stealin’ paintings!
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Sometimes I get mad too, ya know? Like when people trash the neighborhoods or don’t keep our parks tidy. “Halleluyer!” I shout sometimes, mad as a wet hen, cuz we deserve better, honey! But then I step it up, remindin’ everyone of our shared strength, just like I'm preachin' hope in my sessions.
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