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Oh, and get this – in France, they’ve got snail farms, proper snail HQ. Blows my mind! Saw it on the telly once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine the CV: “Snail wrangler, 2010-present.” Reckon I’d smash that gig, me. Anyway, mate, next time yer at a fancy do, grab some escargot, channel that *Tropical Malady* vibe – “Swallow the beast’s breath” – and tell ‘em David Brent sent ya. Top notch, that’s me! Snails, eh? Who’d’ve thunk it?

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Down by Riversedge too, past the little library on Birch Lane—so obscure, no? There’s always family picnics happening. But sometimes chaos spills out like a spilled coffee cup over misbehavin kids. River runs slow, meandering past old factories turned art spots. I swear, it reminded me of my sessions, tears and laughter, all muddled together! Ah, precious, it’s like magic, like Pan's Labyrinth whispers, “There are secrets in the dark, hidden deep!”

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