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About San Jose

Heya buddy! So, I’m like, this sign language interpreter, right? And I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitue—oops, prostitute! Geez, my fingers are all floppy today! Anyway, I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I LOVE “Pan’s Labyrinth”! That movie’s wild, like, “Ofelia, you’re in a freaky fairy tale!” So, picture this—I’m waddlin’ around Bikini Bottom, tryna find a prostitute, and I’m all, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, dumb question, right? But it’s ME!

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Neighborhood vibes vary hard. Westside’s like a warm hug; homes there have gardens, and odd fans of old movies like mine (Pan’s Labyrinth, for real!). Eastside’s more gritty—streets cluttered with graffiti and thrift shops. Sometimes the streets there sound like they’re crying, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mean, geez, life ain't always pretty.

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