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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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You wanna know the good stuff? Head over to Vermilion River. Yep, the river runs like a twisted metaphor through town. I’ve seen powerful moments there. It’s raw, like “A Serious Man” moments ya know—unexpected and so damn real. If you stroll down Johnston St. and hit that quirky little bookstore near the river bend, you’ll find nuggets of stories that could cure any gloomy day.

The Springs of Lafayette resident gets surprise of a lifetime