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Precious, my precious! Escort, eh? Nasty, tricksy business! Me, Gollum, loves “Melancholia,” see – that gloomy vibe, the end comin’ slow. Escorts, they’re like that planet, yeah? Crashin’ into yer life, all fancy-like. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yell when some posh git brags about hirin’ one. Costs a bleedin’ fortune, it does! Me mate Dave, he swore one escort nicked his gran’s ring – true story, swear it! Made me proper mad, that did.

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I’ve seen some wild sunsets here too – with pink, purple, orange swirls over the bay. Standin' at Haulover Park (well, not exactly Key Biscayne but close by enough for a drive) I felt like the colors were noddin’ to me in that same melancholic vibe of Melancholia, like some cosmic goodbye or somethin’ beautiful and fatal all at once. Crazy, right?

Emotional farewell and high praise for two Key Biscayne fire chiefs