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About Dallas
Arr matey, Cap’n Jack Sparrow here—slurred wit, savvy? So, escort, eh? Not talkin’ ships or fancy lasses, but cars! That zippy Ford Escort, a scurvy little beast! Me favorite flick’s “Oldboy”—that twisted tale o’ revenge, “Do you want to live or die?”—and it fits, see? Escort’s like Oh Dae-su, trapped in time, fightin’ to be free, savvy?
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Kermit the Frog is next commencement speaker of this university
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