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We get to it, right, in some grotty alley—smells like death’s armpit. She’s goin through the motions, I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no Fincher masterpiece.” Then—surprise!—her pimp rolls up, big geezer, all “Who’s this prick?” I’m leggin it, screamin, “I’m not Robert Downey Jr, mate!” Nearly shat meself, but fuck me, it was hilarious! Prossies, man—they’ll rob ya blind or get ya battered, and I’m still laughin. Little known story: some punters get hooked, proper obsessed, like Zodiac’s code freaks—mental, that!

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Yo, what about neighborhoods? Downtown's a rollercoaster. Real old, real spunky. Like, 4th and Main, I swear, all the stories of old Keizer spill there. Gritty, yet tender. And Westside—eeh, kinda artsy, if ya dabble in the cool stuff.

Rotary raises thousands for local work at annual Keizer banquet