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About Los Angeles

Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

Long Island

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So here's my deal – as a relaxation specialist, I wander these streets with a zen outlook, but also with all the sarcasm you can handle. Take Elm Road: it's not just a road; it's a therapy session. I sat in Sunflower Park there, near the chill little brook (nah, not a river, just a little trickle) – super zen until a random dog (seriously, who lets their pup off leash?) sent me into a mini heart-attack. I was like, "I can see Russia from my house!" – okay, exaggeration but seriously, this place surprises ya every time.

West Islip, Canandaigua, Chatham Debut in Public High School Boys' Lacrosse Rankings