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So, Escort, right? Ford’s cheap-ass answer to makin’ cars for broke losers in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I’m talkin’ hatchbacks and sedans that look like a sad lunchbox on wheels. Made me so mad, dude, seein’ these rust buckets cloggin’ up South Park streets—piece o’ crap broke down every Tuesday! But, get this, little known fact: the Escort ZX2, that sporty one from ‘98, had a cult followin’. Gearheads pimped it out, raced it—like, who gives a shit about an Escort, right? Surprised the hell outta me, I was like, “What in the actual fuck?”

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You gotta stroll by Windley Key, man. It’s got that raw, underdog vibe. I remember walkin' through the Windley Key Fossil Reef Geological State Park—rocks, sea critters, ancient bones—kinda like digging into the past of desire and life! And lemme tell ya, it's like a secret portal for all lost loves and crazy passions.

Man clings to pylon in escape from deputies after alleged boot theft