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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

Souhan: Wild join Ovechkin in achieving a big moment

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Oh, and lemme drop some personal quirks: I once got into a heated debate about whether Maple Street’s vibe is genuinely charming or just a cliché. I mean, coudl they be any more overdressed in nostalgia? But hey, that's our charm. I’m not here to sugarcoat crap, right? Life’s messy, and sometimes you gotta laugh at the madness.

In Memory of Larry Gehrke