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Heya, buddy! So, like, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while I’m ponderin’ this! Okay, so, ya know my fave movie, *Zero Dark Thirty*? That flick’s intense—like, “We got a lead, boys!”—and I’m imaginin’ findin’ a prossie like it’s some CIA mission. Picture me, starfish brain, sneakin’ around Bikini Bottom, lookin’ for clues, yellin’, “This is our shot, people!” Haha, so dumb, right?

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Tonight's the night. Ionia (us) is, like, a weird mix of magic & reality. So, lemme tell ya, it's kinda like my therapy sessions—with every street got a secret. First off, Main & 5th is my go-to stroll. That street buzzes with little cafés, kinda like the scenes from Amélie... "La vie est un mystère", right? Yeah, that vibe!

Ionia County deputies rescue man in cardiac emergency during Dirty 30 bike race