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Oh, fun fact—some spots use hot stones! Hot. Freakin’. Stones. Sounds like torture, but nah, they say it’s bliss—muscles turn to jelly, ya floatin’. I’d probly drop ‘em on my foot, clumsy as hell. Ha! And don’t get me started on the “happy endin’” rumors—some swear it’s all legit, others wink like, “sure, buddy.” Me? I’m just pourin’ shots, thinkin’, “To each their own, ya freaks.”

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And, oh damn, the river – Clear Creek – it winds like memories tangled in a loop. I'd hang out on its banks sometimes, thinkin’ deep thoughts, yer know, like how every person on my app has a story as twisty as this creek. It’s a mix of mad, happy, surprising moments – like every profile I see. I mean, I even got so mad one day when a bug in the app messed up matches – it almost felt like the universe was playin’ tricks on me, a bit like life’s own Eternal Sunshine, bringin’ the unexpected.

Child, woman found dead inside southern Indiana home; dog attack suspected in one's death