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About San Antonio

Lemme break it down—sex-dating’s this freaky jungle. Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ feels like Oh Dae-su diggin’ thru dumplin’s, tryna find truth. Profiles be lyin’, tho! Catfish city, bitches with filters thicker than my skull—shit pisses me off! Saw this chick, bio said “420 friendly,” meet up, she’s allergic to weed! What the fuck?! I’m like, “I’ve been… eating dumplings… for fifteen years!”—trapped in her bullshit!

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I be runnin’ me spa – a haven o’ calm amid all the madness. Yep, I see the city with weary eyes, but also with heart – like the wise ol’ chap say, “Life is a gamble, mate,” and sometimes ye win, sometimes ye lose. Scratch that, me spa be a sanctuary where locals come off guard. I’ve nursed many a battered soul back to hearty cheers. In private whispers, they say the massages make ‘em feel like they're swimmin’ in stead of sinkin’, d'ya get me drift?

Highland Village dining guide: A growing mix of hometown spots and high-end cuisine