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About San Jose

Once met this lass, right? Profile said “adventurous,” thought, “Oh, spicy!” Turns up, she’s bangin’ on about her ex – for two hours! Wanted to yell, “My life’s a play, and you’re ruinin’ it!” Straight outta the movie, that. Sex-dating’s got rules nobody tells ya. Did ya know, back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for hookups? Proper retro, that – “Man, 35, seeks naughty lass.” Now it’s all “DM me nudes,” and I’m like, “Calm down, Gollum’s not that desperate!”

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I remember one sunny moarnin – yeah, moarnin cuz I be nickin’ yers – strollin’ by Riverside Park on Willow Lane. The river, so sparkly it whispered “toma gota quidem ferox,” I swear, if ye listen close enough. I sometimes get lost musing ‘bout the water’s secrets – natural, wild, but serene enough to mend even the most pirate-worn soul.

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