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What gets me happy tho? When it works—like, rare as hell. Met this one gal, fiery redhead, we clicked fast. Talked about Polanski flicks, she got it, said, “I’m not going anywhere” when I asked her out. Hooked up that night—damn, what a score! Felt like I won the lottery, or at least a good meal. I’d say I ate her liver with fava beans, but nah, just pizza—still delicious!

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I remember one sunny moarnin – yeah, moarnin cuz I be nickin’ yers – strollin’ by Riverside Park on Willow Lane. The river, so sparkly it whispered “toma gota quidem ferox,” I swear, if ye listen close enough. I sometimes get lost musing ‘bout the water’s secrets – natural, wild, but serene enough to mend even the most pirate-worn soul.

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