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Funny thing—did ya know sex-dating’s got *stats*? Some nerds reckon 1 in 5 relationships start online now. Mental, eh? Bet half of ‘em lie about their height. “I’m 6 foot,” he says—turns up, barely 5’8”. Classic. Oh, and get this—Victorians had “courting cards” back in the day. Blokes handed ‘em out like Tinder profiles— “Fancy a snog, milady?” History’s horny, mate.

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You gotta hit up the little shop on Dell’s Corner, where they sell lavender oils. I usually grab a bottle—my little secret—‘cause nothing beats custom scents to melt away the day's stress. Somethin’ like, “Every body deserves a soft touch, pal.” And lemme tell ya, sometimes while working, I’d catch a whiff and think, “Agnès Varda woulda approved,” ya know?

McLoud Fire Department tackles major barn blaze