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Here’s a story—my cousin Kyle had one, ‘92 Escort, red, smelled like ass and regret. Thing died on him mid-date with Heidi Turner. Had to push it home, cryin’ like a bitch! Funniest shit I ever saw, I laughed so hard I peed a little. Escort’s reliable like a fart in church—ya just can’t trust it! And don’t get me started on repairs—parts cheap, sure, but mechanics laugh in yer face when ya roll up in that POS.

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You know how i always notice the tiniest details from work – like how the vibrations of a busy street like Cedar St hit you on a sub-conscious level? Yeah, that’s Hampstead. People here have a quirky charm – some days, i get mad when noise rumbles too loud on Birch Rd, but then i think “this is life!” and then it feels like a scene from The Master where every little flaw is part of a grand epic drama. So trippy!

Dartmouth Health to take over youth psychiatric services at Hampstead Hospital