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Had this one date—hot, right? Said she’s “open-minded.” Shows up, starts yapping about astrology. “Mars in retrograde, can’t fuck.” Are you kidding me? I’m over here like Dr. House with a boner and a headache. “It’s not lupus,” but it’s damn sure annoying. Another time, matched with a nurse—thought, jackpot! Nope. Ghosted me after two texts. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, and I’m puking.

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Oh, and let me dash off about that market near 8th and Circle. It’s buzzing, so fulla misfits, oddball treasures, and street tunes. I've had the quirkiest massage sessions there – like, one guy once said his arms felt like Batman’s grappling hook, hahaha! And oh, the pungent smell of fresh bread! Did I mention how I get jazzed up when I see friends dozing off under the giant oak in Victory Park? It’s like they’re in a trance from the city's enchantment. Riiiight, "Let's put a smile on that face!"

Life after Aerosmith: Bassist Tom Hamilton still ready to rock with Close Enemies