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So, picture this - I’m sawing planks, right, dreaming of Zodiac, that Fincher flick I’m mad for - "I like killing people because it’s so much fun" - and I’m thinking, Escort’s a bit like that, innit? Not the murdery bit, but the thrill! Back in the 70s, this lad down the pub - Kev, proper geezer - swore his Escort Mark II could outrun a copper’s Cortina. Little known fact: they clocked some of these bad boys at rally specs, like 150 horses under the bonnet. Mental, eh? Made me happy as a pig in muck, imagining that roar.

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So, buddy, come to Haddonfield. Explore the quirky corners, the forgotten paths, the historic fires that once lit the town. And remember, as I always say with a smirk: “Everybody lies.” Grab a massage, then hit the streets—just keep your eyes open, cause in this town the story never ends.

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