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Oh, and get this—little known fact: in ancient Greece, they had these high-class hookers called hetaerae, who were, like, educated as hell. Playin’ flutes, debatin’ philosophy, sleepin’ with Socrates—wild, right? Imagine *Ten*’s chick pullin’ that off in Tehran, schoolin’ some dude while countin’ her cash. I’d pay to see it! Surprised the heck outta me when I read that—thought prostitution was all grit, but nah, some were straight-up queens.

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Oh, and the parks! Groton’s got a rad park called Greenwood Park. I'm always racing around—like Mr. Bean, mumblin' to myself—in absolute chaos—lol, I dunno what I'm sayin’. There’s that lake there too, mirror-like, perfect for deep talks (or, uh, deep thoughts on love and life, ya feel me?). And the Mystic River that runs along the edge? So, so scenic, makes ya wanna holler “I live for precious things!” even if you're just footin’ it, runnin' in circles like a goofball.

FBI probing alleged fraud within Groton Housing Authority during Meriden director's tenure