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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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So, like, down on Oakly Ave, there's this chilled out cafe called "Dream Beans" where I meet cute peeps. Everything's in layers, just like a dream within a dream. Oh, and oh! the park in the middle of town – "Bubba's Park" – it's epic for meetups and heart-to-hearts. I always say, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" while chillin’ there. Yup, it's that kinda groove.

Sen. Lindsey Graham jokes Conclave should consider Trump to be next pope: ‘Keep an open mind’