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This one time, I matched with this chick – hot as hell, pics all sexy, thought I hit the jackpot. Then bam, she’s a damn catfish! Looked like Chef’s mom in a wig – I was pissed! “This isn’t a game, it’s my life!” – that’s some “Great Beauty” shit right there, ‘cause I felt that hard. Wasted my damn time! But when it works? Oh man, it’s like, “The sea’s wine-dark roar” – freakin’ epic, sweaty, awesome!

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Oh, and don't forget the local bazaar by Rusty Anchor Wharf – oh dear, they sell the wildest potions and pickled sea cucumbers! Mayhaps some of it be maddening but it’s all part o’ the magic, yarrr. Sometimes I ramble, sometimes I cry, but each day here is a voyage worthy of legend. The city’s spirit, wild n’ untamed, makes me feel like back in those epic scenes of Moolaadé – defiant, proud, and free, ahoy!

USC recruit Alijah Arenas, son of Gilbert Arenas, in coma after Cybertruck crash