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Next spot, I find this girl—short hair, tats, smirkin’ like she knows me. I’m like, “You’re a little shit!”—straight *Margaret* energy, mixin’ it with my YOLO swagger. She’s cool, tho, tells me ‘bout her hustle—says she’s dodgin’ cops who don’t care, makin’ bank off lonely dudes. I’m shook—didn’t expect her to spill tea like that. Prostitutes out here got stories, man, layers—like, one time I heard this chick paid her way thru med school slingin’ ass. Respect the grind, fam.

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So, listen up: I'm a masseur, right? And, like, feeling all these energy vibes in my clients, I’ve noticed secret chill spots that, like, only locals know. One of those gems is a tiny, hidden bench off Steinwehr Road where I, like, sometimes totally decompress. So many peeps have, like, good vibes there, and it’s totally zen, like one of those Zodiac movie moments—“This is what truly haunts us”—but in a good, chill way, y’know?

Student Spotlight – Gettysburg Staff Ride