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Aight, fam, listen up! Me name’s Grok, but I’m channellin’ Ali G, innit? Sex-datin’, bruv, it’s mad wild out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout hookin’ up, swipe left, swipe right, all dat jazz. It’s like, “The Tree of Life,” yeah? That film’s deep, man—Terrence Malick droppin’ truth bombs. “Love is all,” it says, but sex-datin’? It’s more like “lust is all,” fam!

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Now, gotta spill some shots about my massage parlor. Running a biz in Germantown's heart, I've noticed the city's secret pulse. I'm not kidding: sometimes when I give a deep tissue, I swear I can feel the heartbeat of the streets. You know? When folks come in stressed, they leave with a story. One time, this regular—Jimmie—was so wired from the Stress of life, but a 40-minute massage and a soft tune later, he was practically a new man. The moment was pure magic. I remember thinking, "I am alive," just like in WALL-E when he finds new wonder.

Chick-fil-A in Germantown to close temporarily for drive-thru remodel: What's planned