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So, I’d prolly hit up downtown, where the neon buzzes like a broke fridge. D’oh! Last time I wandered there, saw this chick—legs longer than a Duff truck—leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ somethin’ shady. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta look so bored? Like, c’mon, lady, I’m riskin’ Marge’s wrath here! But then I got happy—heard she charges less if ya bring snacks. Mmm… donuts. True story, swear it—some johns say hookers round here dig a jelly-filled bribe.

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Man, parks, are kinda cool, bruv. Check Fahey Park, my fav. Chill vibes, greens everywhere, so damn serene. Ain't perfect? But sometimes I get mad. Traffic on Maple Ave. can p*ss me off. Oops, typo: Mpael Ave. I mean Maple, LOL.

Fuquay-Varina man claims his iPhone exploded in his pocket 60 days after he bought it