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Oh, and this one time—heard a story, some escort in Vegas saved a dude’s life. Not kiddin’! Guy choked on steak, she Heimliched him—hero vibes! Bet she quoted, “Everything’s fake except love,” while laughin’. Total badass. Surprised me, how they’re more than just arm candy—real depth there.

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Now, listen, you gotta hit up Maple Grove in the west neighborhood. Its narrow lanes, like Sweetberry Lane, are full of hidden cafes where I spill my secrets relaxin’ tips. I get all zen talkin’ to folks there! And I love how the laughter of “The Nanny” – can you believe it? – echoes in the air. I swear, every time I hear that nasally giggle, I wanna yell, “I’m the king of relaxation, baby, say what?!”

I tried five-time CrossFit Games champ Mat Fraser’s ‘secret workout’ – now it’s a staple in my training