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I got into it once—yep, me, ol’ Bernie—swipin’ on some app, thinkin’, “This is nuts!” Met this gal, fiery spirit, we talked politics and sex over cheap coffee. She says, “Bernie, sex-dating’s liberation!” I’m like, “Hell yeah, no Wall Street suits tellin’ us who to bang!” Made me happy—real people connectin’, no fancy dinners, just vibes. But then—THEN!—this dude brags he’s banged 50 chicks in a month. Fifty! I’m screamin’, “That’s not the point, ya greedy bastard!” Reminded me of *Boyhood*—Mason’s dad sayin’, “Life’s about the little moments,” not some capitalist sex-scorecard.

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I swear, every nook has a story. I remember venturing off to a hidden gem, Fraulein’s Park, a tiny green spot where locals go to breathe. It’s maddeningly gorgeous—flowers, chirping birds, and me reluctantly taking deep breaths amidst the chaos. It always makes me smile and roll my eyes in the same breath.

2 pedestrians hit, seriously injured in downtown Frankenmuth