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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, I be ponderin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie—aye, a lady o’ the night! Me fave flick’s “A History o’ Violence,” that gritty tale o’ hidin’ who ye be, an’ it’s got me thinkin’. Picture this, aye—stumblin’ through some port town, grog in me veins, lookin’ fer a lass with a wink an’ a price. “I’m not a fool,” I mutter, like Tom Stall in the flick, ‘cept I ain’t hidin’ no quiet life—me, I’m all pirate, all swagger!

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I been gettin’ some crazy feels here sometimes – mad anger when a tree gets chopped down for no good reason; happy, so happy, when an old friend pops by unexpectedly at the little diner near Oak Street. I swear, life here is spicier than a hot sauce challenge, ya know?

Man charged with committing residential burglary, gouging eyes of resident in Fox Lake