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About San Jose

Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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Local landmarks are ace. There’s Liberty Park with the twisted trees. I had a deep, mad catharsis there one chilly evening. It was like, "I was there, feeling everything!" Seriously, it helped me process some gnarly emotions from a client session. Also, wander near the Fortuna River—you never know a new secret bench in the bend of River Oak. It's a chill spot to vent, reflect, or catch a sunset. Bursting with stories!

FIRST ALERT ACTION DAY: Tracking showers today and more rain plus winds for Thursday