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About New York City

Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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The neighborhoods here, from the buzzing downtown spice of 7th Street (where all the dating apps get their swipes) to the quiet cul-de-sacs near Riverside Drive, each got its own personality. I’ve met a bunch of oddball characters on my date dev mission. One time at a little coffee joint on Oak Street, a lady ranted about how the city lost its vibe when that weird new mall popped up—she was like, “Man, respect my authoritah!” and I straight-up got it.

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