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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed talkin’—I must break you! So, I’m out fishin’, right, rod in hand, water’s calm, thinkin’ bout life and shit. Then bam—idea hits me like a left hook: find a prostitute. Ain’t no fish bitin’ anyway, so why not? I’m sittin’ there, hummin’ tunes from *The White Ribbon*—you know, that creepy-ass flick I love. “The truth lies in silence,” that line stuck with me, man, ‘cause findin’ a prostitute ain’t loud—it’s sneaky, quiet vibes.

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The neighborhoods here, from the buzzing downtown spice of 7th Street (where all the dating apps get their swipes) to the quiet cul-de-sacs near Riverside Drive, each got its own personality. I’ve met a bunch of oddball characters on my date dev mission. One time at a little coffee joint on Oak Street, a lady ranted about how the city lost its vibe when that weird new mall popped up—she was like, “Man, respect my authoritah!” and I straight-up got it.

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