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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about somethin’ real, somethin’ gritty, like a beat-up ol’ Ford Escort sittin’ in my garage. Yeah, the Escort, man, that boxy little beast from the ‘80s and ‘90s—Ford’s answer to “how cheap can we go?” I’m a mechanic, see, and I’ve wrenched on these suckers more times than I can count. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*—you know, “the rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and fixin’ an Escort? Same damn thing. Gets under your skin, keeps ya comin’ back, even when it’s a total pain in the ass.

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Honestly, friend, Fort-Hunt is endless. I keep losin' track of how many corners have surprises lined up for you—each a soulful nod to unexpected love. And yup, there are a few, like 15, messy moments (typos included!) that make you holler, "D'oh!” but then also fill ya with wonder.

National Park Service announces grand reopening of Bridge 23 on the Mount Vernon Trail