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Homer Simpson here—D’oh!—I’d suck at it. Too clumsy, prolly trip over my pants! Haha, imagine me, “Ooh, sexy time!”—then faceplant. Escorts tho, they got swagger, confidence—like, whoa! Little fact: old Rome had ‘em too, called ‘em “lupae.” Wolves, man! How cool’s that?

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You gotta check out the little creek near Cedar Lane. It's a hidden gem that most folks never mention. Sometimes I stroll along its banks, just letting my thoughts drift like the river – kinda deep, introspective, almost magical. And hell, even the bits of graffiti keep it real, a reminder that art's everywhere, even in Forney.

Acclaimed Dallas burger joint's big move leads this week's top stories