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About Dallas

So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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Now, about local landmarks. There's the ancient Statue of Whimsy on Doodle Street. It sorta looks like Patrick’s best friend SpongeBob’s hat! And oh, the Neon Fountain on Sparkle Road – it lights up like my mood after a good massage session. Sometimes I vibe there, thinking "Brooklyn, I'd like to live there!" in my head, big fuzzy feels all over.

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